I had so many questions about looking for a job, but I was afraid to put myself out there. After spending ten years out of the workforce, I felt irrelevant–a complete dinosaur. My questions ranged from the very basic and practical (“Where do I go to search for jobs? Is Monster.com still around?”) to the ones that rattled me to the core (“Do I still have what it takes?  Does anyone want what I have to offer?”). I read that one of the first steps to finding work is networking, or even more simply, telling people you’re looking.

Telling others I wanted to go back to work felt easier said than done. I knew what questions would come my way:

“What are you looking for?” “What is your work experience?”

I was having a major crisis of confidence. My work experience felt skimpy given my age. I constantly compared myself to my peers who continued to work post-children. Post-grad school, I switched career paths and I had not invested enough time to find my niche or become a subject-matter expert of any kind. I also had no idea what I wanted to do. I had ideas about what I could do or might want to do, but was afraid to put myself out there without a clear plan or goal, for fear of embarrassing myself or wasting someone’s time.

After attempting to figure out the re-entry process on my own, I hit a wall. My mind was running in circles, asking the same questions, and not getting the answers I needed. So, finally, I reached out to three mom friends who had recently returned to work. My hope was that they would be the most empathetic, understanding, and therefore, safe. My text message to one friend read: “Do you mind sharing with me again what you do for work? How has it been juggling FT work and family? Where do you work and do you enjoy it? I’m in the market for a flexible PT job.” To my surprise, she quickly replied, “…Wanna get together for lunch?  I can share tips on the re-entry process.” Floored. It was that easy and not as scary as I imagined to put myself out there. I couldn’t believe I had wasted so much energy and time worrying about perfecting my story before telling someone that I wanted to go back to work. Here was a mom who offered to specifically and proactively help me with the re-entry process and all it took was a simple message. In retrospect, my fears seem silly and unjustified. However, at that time, re-entry after ten years felt like that proverbial 1,000-mile journey; a journey, that thankfully, also starts with just a single step.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. ~ Chinese proverb

…to work, that is!

I was not at all prepared for the intimidation and trepidation I felt when I made the decision to seek employment. Without a clear idea of what I was looking for, I started browsing job posting sites. But first, I had to figure out where to look. “Is monster.com still around?” I wondered. (It is! However, it’s not the most popular.). I searched for my old role, part-time jobs, contract jobs, telecommute jobs, and every combination you can think of. I even uploaded my resume to one of the job search sites and applied for a couple positions, but it felt like a futile exercise. I honestly have never had any luck with online job sites. Also, knowing that recruiters use keywords to search their candidate pool, I decided my resume needed a major refresh (more on that later), otherwise, I was just wasting my time and energy.

I started reading articles and talking to moms who went back to work (outside of the home) and the consistent advice is: “Tell people you are looking for a job.”

As someone who tends to shy away from networking events, this felt scary. So I decided to stick with my friend network, and one day while sitting with a friend poolside watching our boys play, I mentioned wanting to explore freelance web development and asked if she needed any help with her website. (I had acquired some basic knowledge and skills over the years as the volunteer webmaster at my kids’ schools.)

A few weeks later, she reached out and gave me my first job! If you have a desire to return to work, but don’t know where to start, start with your friends. Tell them you are back on the market!

Have you tried this? I would love to hear about your experience!